Our services
 Individual Therapy |  IFS |  Online EMDR Therapy |
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 Couples Therapy |  RODBT (Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) |  RODBT Couples Class |
 Parenting Skills |
Individual Therapy
Life is difficult enough without feeling like you’re in it alone. Everyday stress can take its toll alone, but add in other stressors like anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship issues, and it can feel unbearable. Individual therapy can help you reflect on difficult truths, give you a neutral space to sort through your thoughts, or guide you through things you haven’t been able to work through on your own.
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I’m on My Own
Loneliness is not uncommon in the therapy office. Overstressed people are often emotional and struggle to connect with others, though they desperately want to. Perhaps you aren’t even sure what the problem is. Add to this the fact that it’s so difficult to ask for help, and you have a recipe for disaster. On the other hand, when you’re working so hard to change the path your life is on, and the same issues keep coming up, it may be a signal that you need some objective outside guidance. While it may feel like you are alone, that's not true: a good therapist can go a long way toward getting you back on track.
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Overscheduled and Undervalued
We all lead busy lives. Some of us are busier than others! If your life feels more like a series of scheduled appointments with no downtime than overall experience, it may be time for a change. We are taught to achieve. Very often, high achievers end up “overcontrolled.” This means that, as a person, you may have a level of inflexible thinking that leads to increased anxiety, loneliness, perfectionism, overcaution, and exhaustion from social interactions.
How this manifests depends on the person, but one universal thing is that overcontrol can take a toll. It can rob you of the ability to relax, the ability to connect, and the ability to manage life in general. If you feel that this is an issue for you, you may be interested in the RO-DBT page on the menu.
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It’s All In The Family
Our families teach us how to be people. Thus, they mold and shape who we are, for better or worse. They are our first experience in how to attach, how to love, how to fight, and how to live with others. Exploring your family patterns can go a long way in understanding yourself and your particular relationship patterns. Processing these relationships can also help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries and, sometimes, understand and reconnect severed relationships. The families we build through friendships and romantic relationships will often mirror our family of origin. This doesn’t mean you’re doomed to repeat faulty patterns. With some work, you can break the cycle.
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Bridging the Gap
Our first experience in attaching to others is our family. Good, bad, or indifferent; every family has problems. It could be that you had no relationship model at all. Alternatively, maybe your caretakers modeled poor behaviors like abuse, neglect, unhealthy arguments, or not modeling love at all. Our family teaches us how to love. So when the source teaches faulty things, it can affect our relationships for the rest of our lives. People both in and out of therapy often don’t know how to argue healthily, show love, and navigate cooperation and compromise. How we attach can be critical to whether or not we repeat the same patterns or create new ones. Individual therapy can help you explore your patterns and practices, learn new ways to build lasting relationships, and reconnect with and strengthen struggling ties.
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Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun
We all have secrets. Some are darker than others. Whatever they are, they’re heavy. Individual therapy can give you a safe space to work through the complicated feelings that come with whatever secrets you’re holding. Often, having a “secret” means trauma. Trauma can have a devastating impact on who you are, how you manage life, and how your relationships form. Letting them go and truly understanding them can free you from the influence they still have on your life.
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If your life isn’t taking the direction you want, know that you’re in control of changing your path. If you can’t find the way yourself, individual therapy can help you find answers about the life you want to build. When you’re ready, I am here to help.
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Online EMDR Therapy
When you’re trying to work through difficult things, it helps to know you have options. Traditional talk therapy is great, but what if you don’t feel that conventional talk therapy is for you? There are options, and EMDR is one of those options. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. It is one of the top forms of therapy for emotional resolution. It has been extensively researched and shows promise with several types of psychological distress.
What is EMDR?
We create memories differently when we are calm versus under stress. Sometimes, those memories can get stuck or leave pieces and parts in different parts of the brain. EMDR uses bilateral or alternating stimulation to reach each side of the brain and help the brain work through and “integrate” this information into one cohesive memory. The most common form of stimulation used is eye movements. However, we can also use sounds or taps.
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How is EMDR different?
Trauma therapists love EMDR. Why? Because it doesn’t require conscious effort like traditional talk therapy. EMDR is often described as being like a passenger on a train, riding through your brain and noticing the scenery. For whatever reason, the stimulus will jump from neuron to neuron, following the “path” your brain has created with this information. This does not require effort, except for answering the question, “What do you notice?” You are not required to actively process, answer questions, strive to make connections, or find words you may not have. Instead, it works with the brain’s natural healing process to allow it to heal itself.
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Why EMDR?
Often, therapists will work with one part of the brain but not the other, so clients end up with resolved thoughts but still have painful feelings, or vice versa. It can be hard to understand the information but still not control your emotions. What we do know is that the body stores information as well. You cannot reason through biology. There is no fighting, fleeing, or freezing to logic until the process is over. It can be so tricky! EMDR allows the pieces and parts that your body has stored to be fully integrated into the information in the memory so that there are no super sensitive or triggering parts to the memory. It becomes a part of your story instead of an emotional bruise you can’t stand to approach.
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EMDR is also really effective with people who are avoidant and can’t stand to actively discuss thoughts and feelings. Similarly, some clients lack words or can't address issues. Moreover, it is a more passive but powerful healing process for those who lack emotional vocabulary.
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I Want EMDR, but I Can’t Find a Local Provider.
We pioneered EMDR online before it became essential in 2020! It is an excellent option for a couple of reasons. For example, some people have been injured and cannot drive to or from an office. Others cannot go to an office because scheduling makes it more challenging. Besides, some clients travel and struggle with unpredictable schedules or cannot find a local provider. So we also offer EMDR online groups! Using a particular computer program, we can do EMDR just as we would in the office.
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If you feel EMDR may be an option for you, please reach out, and we can schedule you today!
Couples Therapy
While individual counseling is helpful, it’s challenging to fix relationship problems from only one side. However, if both parties are willing to attend counseling, success comes faster when the focus is on relationship problems.
You want to bridge the gap and feel less distance and separation than you do now. But unfortunately, relationships take constant maintenance, and sometimes life can get the better of you. Even good stress is still stress!
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Perhaps you’ve finally decided to have a child, and now you’re struggling to adjust to your new roles. You may be merging families, and everyone is reeling from the stress of blending them. On the other hand, perhaps things are just stressful, and you find that you’re arguing more, or worse, not communicating at all. Maybe your partner was unfaithful, or maybe your struggle is something less serious.
Whatever happened, you can get to a better place.
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Two Become One
When two people merge their lives, things can get chaotic. You are two individuals with different cultures, families of origin, lifestyles, preferences, and personalities; of course, merging into one life will be a struggle!
Everyone comes to the table with their baggage. We are all raised differently, and behaviors are modeled for us. Our cultures also shape what is and isn't acceptable behavior. Through our parents and families, we learn gender roles, appropriate responses, expectations, parenting, attachment to others, and more. Finding a mate and creating our own version of a family with two people from different backgrounds can be complex with so much input, but it isn’t impossible.
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Communication Struggles
In any relationship, it’s important to be heard. However, when that doesn’t happen, things can go south fast. If one or both partners cannot communicate their needs, wants, and desires, scorekeeping, resentment, criticism, and contempt can develop. This spells disaster for a relationship. Learning just a few basic communication techniques can really help get you back on the same page.
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Parenting Difficulties
Whether parenting as a couple or co-parenting as a separated family, raising a child is difficult. We all come from different backgrounds that shape our expectations for behavior. If both parents are not on the same page, life can be very difficult and confusing for the child. Confused children act out and cause
family stress, and nobody is happy! Communicating expectations, rules, and discipline appropriately is critical in every family.
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Time Management
We’ve mentioned above that several factors come into play in a successful relationship. One struggle that often goes unacknowledged is time. Time is a finite resource. With jobs, children, socialization, and personal interests, it can be challenging to find time for each other. Sadly, in many relationships, “couplehood” comes last. Therefore, this is a real problem because the couple is the foundation of your life! Learn to put yourselves first and make time for each other. This includes therapy: If you can't be in the same place at once, we offer online options. Don’t let time be an obstacle.
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Secrets and Trauma
Often, when a relationship is struggling, one or both partners haven't been entirely forthcoming. This is rarely due to sinister aims. More often, guilt, shame, and fear of rejection make it hard to discuss events that have caused problems for the individual partner. Therapy can be a safe space to disclose, address, and work through these difficult conversations.
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Sexual Problems
Sex is critical to any relationship. It fosters bonding, releases stress, and makes for a happier couple. Sexual problems are common in relationships that are struggling. If the problem isn’t physical, then it is possible that, as the difficulties in the relationship resolve, your sex life will improve.
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Infidelity
It is a myth that infidelity has to kill your relationship. Many couples can and do recover after one or both cheat. That said, straying from a relationship can cause a great deal of turmoil. Therapy can provide a space to communicate, work through complex feelings, and move on from the injury. How you work it out and where you go from here is a personal decision up to each couple.
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Should I Stay or Go?
When a relationship is struggling, this question often comes up. Making such a difficult decision can weigh heavily on anyone’s conscience. However, a little guidance can go a long way in sorting out personal feelings and determining which way to go.
Whether the struggle is parenting or co-parenting, separation, divorce, infidelity, communication struggles, or just plain not feeling connected, counseling can go a long way in coming together again.
If you’re engaged in more serious struggles like domestic violence or relationship problems in general, I have information on that in my specialties pages.
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If you’re ready to reconnect and build the relationship you really want, let’s set up an appointment and get started.
RODBT (Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)
You were fun once. Or maybe not. You’re known for being on time, or early, for every appointment. If there’s a schedule, you never deviate. On the other hand, you’re perfectionistic and struggle when things don’t go as planned. You have a hard time trying new things. It’s impossible to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. Maybe you’re comfortable this way, or perhaps those close to you have pointed out that this is a problem. Life should be more fun than this.
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There is such a thing as too much self-control. Self-control is suitable to a point. However, after a certain level, it becomes problematic. Self-control describes our ability to control impulses, act on urges without thinking, and manage emotions in ways that favor long-term outcomes. In small doses, it’s a good thing. But too much, and you’ll struggle to relax control when you need to. Social interactions can create perfectionism, inflexibility, overcautiousness, and exhaustion.
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How do I know if I’m overcontrolled?
Overcontrolled people often struggle with loneliness, perfectionism, guilt and shame, and difficulty dealing with change. For someone like you, it’s important never to show vulnerability, make mistakes, or not win at something. In general, a person prone to overcontrol feels more anxious, is much more sensitive to criticism, struggles to respond to difficult things in life, and is more nervous and sensitive. While overcontrol helps alleviate anxiety in the short term, it actually creates more pressure in the long term!
What are Struggles Specific to Being Overcontrolled?
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higher anxiety and emotionality
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difficulty relaxing inhibition; difficulty exploring all life has to offer
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loneliness and social difficulties
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being overly committed to rules
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struggling to take criticism or feedback
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masking emotions or only showing socially acceptable emotions
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related challenges like depression, anxiety, anorexia, or obsessive-compulsive behaviors
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suffering in silence due to others not knowing they are struggling
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How Does RO-DBT Help?
Personalities differ. This is partly biological and partly due to experience. According to RO-DBT, experiences combined with basic temperamental differences can lead to overcontrolled behaviors and struggles with social bonding. As humans, social bonding is critical for us. RO-DBT helps you express yourself more effectively in emotionally inappropriate social contexts, creating the social bonds you lack. This leads to better social experiences, reinforcing the idea that you can safely express yourself without rejection and trust others. It teaches you new skills to help you interact and bond with others and create a more prosperous life for yourself.
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I’ve heard of DBT but not RO-DBT. How are they different?
DBT was created to help individuals who are emotionally volatile and dysregulated. This is the opposite of whom RO-DBT is designed to help. RO-DBT assists in more emotion, not less.
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Maybe you want to get back to who you once were, or perhaps you’ve always been this way and would like to change. Either way, RO-DBT can help you get there.
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Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT) may be for you if you struggle with excessive self-control.
Parenting Skills
Parenting is one of the most thankless, demanding jobs, or at least it can feel like it! Maybe you remember a time when it was more fun or more minor fires to put out. Today, many parents lack support from extended family or peers they can relate to. And yet, it’s so important to share our struggles, celebrate accomplishments, get some good advice, or learn some practical skills. Let’s face it: kids these days face unprecedented challenges, and the techniques our parents used with us may not work, may be outdated, or may even be illegal.
Our therapists have worked as peer parenting mentors, counseled in schools, led parenting groups, and mentored individual parents. Hundreds of parents from different walks of life feel that these tools have helped them succeed in parenting and strengthen their relationship with their children. While not every device will work for every person or family, you can find what your kids respond to and develop your parenting style by using a variety.
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The Root of Discipline is “to teach.”
Many people may mistakenly believe that discipline is the time to “show who the boss is.” Nonetheless, if we remember the word “disciple,” we may see its true meaning. (Remember how Jesus gathered people, disciples, around him?) Whether we are religious or not, when we discipline well, we “disciple.” That is, we strengthen our relationships and draw our family around us to enhance our influence, rather than tearing them down through fear or bullying.
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Take a moment, close your eyes, and ask yourself. What is most important to teach your children?
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"Your answer tells you about your style, values, and strengths as a parent. Start with your strengths and passions, the core of what you offer.
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Don’t Sabotage Your Relationships: Grow Them!
We may mistakenly feel responsible for our children’s poor behavior or protect them from the consequences of their choices. Feeling over-responsible or not taking responsibility for our role can cloud our decisions and have us parent out of fear, anger, and frustration, or give up in apathy. When we think calmly, we strategically use our values and choose a disciplined structure that supports our family. Therefore, we can communicate our values to our children in the most crucial moments while staying in control. By doing this, we demonstrate love and safety.
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As we build relationships, we expand our circle of influence, creating a positive win-win loop that feeds itself. A stronger relationship means more power, more authority, more buy-in, and so on; you get the picture. By choosing authoritative and kind parenting, we model and teach self-control and leadership, strengthen our kids’ internal motivation, self-trust, and ability to handle stress. Most importantly, we teach through our actions, not empty words. Self-control, leadership, internal motivation, self-trust, and the ability to handle stress are traits our children need to succeed and make complex choices.
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The decision to have a child is life-affirming, yet it can bring so much stress and change. The years of active parenting can go by very quickly, and our ability to shape our relationship with our children. Nevertheless, It is an opportunity that is often unprecedented in later years. So go ahead and get some support and practical tools. We are here to help you all the steps of the way.
RODBT for Couples
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WORKING ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN A GROUP SETTING? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ON THE VERGE OF DIVORCE TO COME AND BENEFIT FROM COUPLES' THERAPY.
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Are you someone who is cautious, avoids vulnerability, and does activities without a proper plan. Maybe you think ahead of time about everything but fail to enjoy the moment and struggle to truly connect with people.
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Do you work extra hard to connect with your partner and yet feel unappreciated? You like to follow rules and struggle to loosen up and be adventurous but still struggle to feel really connected to someone by your side.
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Would like to help you learn how to be more receptive and Open, Flexible, Socially Connected, and improve your relationship?
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Connect with us! We are organizing a new RODBT skills class.
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When you’re ready, our door is open. Email, Call, or schedule online.
Brainspotting
It has been demonstrated that the technique of brainspotting can be beneficial for a number of mental and psychosomatic diseases. When dealing with traumatic events, it is extremely beneficial to make use of Brainspotting in order to identify and treat the underlying trauma that is the cause of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. This is because the underlying trauma is the root cause of these conditions. In addition to this, there is a possibility that it will enhance both one's performance as well as their creative production.
Through the application of a strategy known as "brainspotting," the therapist is able to gain an understanding of the ways in which the body and the brain interact with one another. The objective is to obtain access to the more fundamental, subcortical emotional, and body-based parts of the brain without having to go through the process of conscious, neocortical reasoning.
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Although we use the eye as a prompt to activate memories to be processed, it is not "the same thing as EMDR". Both have different mechanisms to access and process traumatic memories and brainspotting particularly does not use a specific protocol. However, as with any other therapy, the professional needs extensive training in order to provide the treatment.
Internal Family System
For individual therapy, Richard C. Schwartz came up with the Internal Family Systems Model (IFS) in the 1980s.
A person's true Self, according to IFS, can be found in the core of their thoughts and emotions. People's innermost selves, such as their families, can take on many different personalities and play various roles in their lives. Each part holds a variety of hobbies, memories, and opinions. Even if a component's actions are counterproductive or dysfunctional, they nonetheless have a positive purpose, according to IFS. The IFS technique promotes internal connection and harmony rather than confrontation with or exclusion of components in order to restore mental harmony and balance.
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The purpose of IFS therapy is to help the body heal and the mind regain its balance. In order to begin the healing process, you first need to get in touch with your fundamental self. The IFS model consists of three primary types of components:
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Exiles often carry childhood psychological damage into maturity. Exiles may isolate the system, leading to polarization. Managers and firefighters work together to hide the Exiles' predicament.
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Managers protect and prevent system harm. They can help you avoid danger and prevent sad or traumatic memories from flooding your mind.
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Exiles call for firefighters. Overeating, drug addiction, or violence may be used to distract from the Exile's pain and shame. Chronic pain sufferers may overwork or over-medicate to dull their suffering.
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In addition to individual work, we also work with couples, offering the intervention in a way that feels different from any therapy you may have tried so far. If you would like to try it with your partner or on your own, please contact us.
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